Birthday

A few years ago, I had one of the most awkward birthdays I've ever had.

One of my closest friends and I were, at that time, not very close. Whatever the cause, our relationship was not good. I lived in Lynchburg, and was doing school, and this friend had moved back home. At this point, said friend probably knows who he is. In the case that he is not reading this, or that the rest of you (who don't read this either) don't know who I'm referring to, his name is Clint. But I digress.

Upon my birthday, I had everything planned out. I wanted a specific dinner with specific friends, and that's all I wanted it to consist of. If you've known me for very long, you know I don't look for big events around my birthday. I just like to be around the one's I love...and...well, good food should be involved, too.

I heard through the grapevine that my not-so-close friend was coming in to surprise me for my birthday, most likely in an attempt to make things right and restore our friendship. He had the best of intentions, but I honestly wanted nothing to do with him at the time.

He called me, on multiple occasions, and I ignored him, on the same amount of occasions. To be honest, I don't remember if I met up with him, or if I gave him the ultimate birthday-style shaft, but that's not the point of the story.

In our increasingly busy lives, it's easy to welcome selfishness, and throw love away.

The illustration is backwards, and may be faulty, but I can sum up most of my life in this simple phrase: running away from the Friend who wants to restore our relationship.

I hope this Christmas isn't spent running, at least not from the One who saved my life.

Catalyst Wrapped Up

If you're paying attention, you may've noticed that Catalyst Day 1 was published the night of Catalyst Day 1 - makes sense, doesn't it? Catalyst Day 2 didn't follow the same routine, and you're soon to find out why.

Leaving Catalyst, I had heard from a lot of guys that are definitely anointed for God's work. In fact, the guys (Daren, Josh, and Tom) and I came to the conclusion (If there's a conclusion, there must have been an initial question, and for your sake, I'll fill you in. We all asked the question, "Why is Andy Stanley, Erwin McManus, Craig Groeschel, etc. on the stage, and I'm in my seat?") that God is doing the work in all of His children, and that work is not rated on earthly scales or given different grades of eternal greatness. Rather, it is God using His children for His purpose and glory, in every setting across the planet, and that no purpose is greater than any other.

...but that was just the start.

In fact, it was a small piece of a few dozen lessons I learned over the past few days. So, for all of our sanity, I'll try to keep it brief and organized.

1. I'm way too consumed with myself.
When given an opportunity to be a part of giving a Nigerian child a pair of shoes, I was confronted with the choice of paying $38 to do so (If you're wondering why they cost so much, check out tomsshoes.com - you can buy a pair a shoes, and for every pair sold, they give a child one, and you're testifying to that as you wear them - pretty cool, eh?). So as I was looking at different sizes and styles, I asked one of the associates, "how much do they cost?" to which he replied, "$38 here, $40 on the site, BUT you give a kid a pair of shoes for free...can't beat that can ya?"

I laughed to myself, thinking, I just sat in the session where they described the business plan - you don't need to sell me...I'm obviously interested.

However, when I heard $38, I honestly thought to myself, "Do I really want to spend $38?"

It hit me (forgive my cliche, but it's necessary, and an understatement) like a ton of bricks. I was not quite willing to spend that money for a child, A CHILD to have a pair of shoes. What would that money be spent on? The new Steve Fee CD I've been eyeing? A dinner at Applebee's when I could really just eat at home for free? WHAT?

WHAT IS MORE WORTH IT THAN GIVING A DISEASED, HURTING, BROKEN CHILD A PAIR OF SHOES?!

I've been changed, and I'm thankful. I'm committing my life to helping the broken.

James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

2. I'm a copycat.
I love to listen to what the other guys (the aforementioned guys that have the privilege of teaching us from the Catalyst stage, as well as other platforms), and plug it in to what I'm doing. Apparently, God didn't create me to do that...in fact, I'm sort of the only one of me around, and I have an individual purpose for my life that's different than anyone else...in history.

I realized this in a real way when Francis Chan got up to speak (please check him out sometime and listen to what he has to say - I'd sit under his teaching any day). He told us that he was laying in bed one night when it hit him - "if Jesus had a church in Simi Valley, Francis's church would be bigger. In fact, people would leave Jesus's church to go to Cornerstone, because they don't call for as great a commitment." He turned to his wife, horrified, and realized that he'd cultivated a lukewarm community.

In an effort to change this, and make his life count, he decided that he wouldn't build a new building (something they'd been contemplating in months prior). Actually, he would just plot a bunch of grass where they could meet.

Stay with me...I know...it's crazy :).

He talked about those going to Lambeau Field to watch the Green Bay Packers through the Winter, where they brave the weather for 4 hours because they believe in this team. What would it hurt to brave the "dangerous" weather of Southern California? And if we follow through with this plan, think how much money we could use to reach this community!

wow - I love it. Why is it that we suddenly embrace "truths" such as necessity for a big, nice building?

(I have to take a moment to apologize. I told you I'd try to make this short and organized, and I'm not sure it's either, but hey...I'm on a roll :)).

3. God is the one changing your flock - not you!
Craig Groeschel, the pastor of Life Church, made a statement that sent a chill down my bones. "If you don't think God is blessing your ministry as you think He should, your immediate reaction may be to think that God has let you down, or that you suck. However, if you look at it this way, you'll just as easily take credit for the increase."

I guess I know (head-know) that God is the one doing the work, but most times, I feel like if I boost my strengths, things will get better (more increase), when in reality, my strengths don't have much to do with it. I'm not saying that my work doesn't matter. I'm saying that when I devote my life to student ministry, God will use my work for His purpose. In no way is my work making God's power greater.

That's not even close to all that God hit me with, but I can say this, I'll never be the same.

May you meet Jesus in such a way that He changes your direction forever.

Catalyst Day 1

After listening to the podcast of the aforementioned organization in the title for around a year, I've finally been able to experience the conference, and it's been nothing short of earth-shattering, at least metaphorically in my own self.

Tonight was one of those nights that makes you question your recent existence; not so much the existence itself, but what on earth have I been doing with it?!

Mainly through the words of Francis Chan and Rick Warren, I was blindsided (yes, as I was hit by a Mack Truck in the middle of an intersection), upon the realization that I've been ignoring those most important to Jesus - the poor, broken, disenfranchised, etc. I guess I just thought it was the thing most of the pastors were ripping off each other's sermons for this moment in time, that we'd all start talking about "the oppressed."

Tonight I was hit with the one thing I can't argue with - Scripture. Apparently, James talked about something along the lines of caring for orphans and widows, not to mention the countless times in Jesus' ministry He told them to either give someone a cold cup of water or to heal people.

I could go into the details of what went down, but I'll end it with this...

my life is about to change in a drastic way, and that means the ministry I'm apart of is also about to change in a drastic way. I'm privileged to have experienced one of those revolutionary moments in your life where you know you've just received direction, or at least a small glimmer of what your future in God's plan is going to look like, except it's all too crazy to digest at the moment.

I'm pretty pumped to say the least - and that's all I have to say about that.

Leaving Ephesus

I suck.

I could leave the blog at that, but people would think it's a cry for help, and that I'm selfishly fishing for affirmation. That's not the case - let me explain.

I decided to follow Christ when I was 16, and my life has never been the same since. As you grow, your life morphs, in every area. Specifically, your Christian life changes drastically. You could relate this type of change to a baby growing into a child, and a child into a teenager, and so on.

I guess you could call my current situation, "growing pains."

I've been a youth pastor for 2 years, and have been following Christ for 8. God has rocked my world in the last year through revelation and change of life plans; it's been a whirlwind. Beginning the process, knowing I needed God's guidance, I sought Him with a passion through prayer, reading, and contemplation. I was really able to connect, and as a result, I was able to understand what the will of God is (Romans 12:2).

When God reveals His plans, though, I have a tendency to get busy bringing the plans to fruition, while God is left wondering where His child ran off to. I began to get so busy that I forgot to be in fellowship of my Creator and God.

My life started showing signs of malcontent and selfishness, which manifested itself in my personal life, my marriage, and my ministry. It all came to a screeching halt on our 1-year anniversary, where I realized that the genesis of all the muck came from the fact that I left God behind a long time ago. I left Him standing at the place where He so graciously revealed His plans to me, where He equipped me for the future.

It became clear that the selfishness leaking into my marriage and all other areas was a direct result of my leaving Him behind.

Fortunately, that's not the end of the story.

Sitting in church this Sunday, in the middle of the music portion, God brought a passage to mind.

"I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first' or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place - unless you repent.

Revelation 2:2-5

If you follow Christ, ask yourself, "Am I in love with Jesus?"

Renewed Mind

I'm at camp this week. And every time I'm privileged to go to camp, there are always a few things that I excitedly prepare for: getting to know teenagers, sweating a lot, and getting some time alone with God. The latter is my favorite.

It seems that I get more excited about spending some good QT with God when I'm getting ready for camp. I'm not sure why I don't have that passion on any normal work day, but that's not really the purpose of this blog. I digress.

At this particular camp, the band, "Pocket Full of Rocks" is doing the music portion of the worship service, and it's been amazing. They lead authentic worship, and are really cool people to be around. They're straight-up anointed.

In the middle of one of the services, I sat down to contemplate what God was doing in my heart at that moment. I began to think about the big job God has set before me, and the shoes that I have to fill. I started to think about programs, and talks, retreats and camps. I know where my focus is "supposed" to be, but to be honest, it can be shifted.

God, though, in the middle of a worship service, began to work on my heart and remind me to simplify it all to prayer. I was able to breathe easier knowing that I was not the one doing the work, and that the job didn't fall on my shoulders. In fact, the job NEVER fell on my shoulders. God ALWAYS had it. If I'm going to do anything, it's through the power of God working IN me. May we never forget where the power for catalyzing a generation comes from.

"The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." - James 5:16

Cell Phone Contact List

This past Saturday night, as I was packing some things up in preparation to move, I took a break to sit out on my deck for a while. I pulled out my cell phone and started to do something I've been meaning to do for a while - I cleaned out my contact list.

Every once in a while, I look through my contact list to find phone number I saved in well-meaning to call and also those that I'd just felt bad about deleting in the past. It's almost like cleaning out your closet. If you're anything like me (pack rat), there are some things that almost seem too sacred to throw away. What that usually means is that they will be thrown out the next time I clean my closet, and I come to the same conclusion as the last 18 times.

As I began to clean some numbers out of my phone to prepare for new ones, though, something popped out to me. I had phone numbers of students all over Columbus, Ohio in my phone. It's funny how on a weekly basis, I was always yearning for more students to love on and to point to Jesus.

As I cleaned out number after number, I realized God had given me more opportunities than I had realized, or thanked Him for. I began to see that I was able to be a looking glass to Jesus to more students than I had previously realized.

May we never forget to stop and realize all that God is doing in the day-to-day, and even the minute-to-minute.

If God exists in the margins, why am I so attracted to the bright and beautiful? I pray my focus is always on the here-and-now, and on those God has entrusted to me.

Arkansas

A new chapter is unfolding. Christi and I have been expecting a change for several months now, and God has finally revealed His next step for us.

We're moving to Arkansas.

The journey that we've been on to make this transition has been a long one, and it's not over, but allow me to unpack a the blessings in God's sovereignty and providence that we've been fortunate to experience.

To start from the beginning, we knew God was making a change in our lives together. God was preparing us for something else; not necessarily better, but our next step. We went through countless steps to be able to make it to this point, and looking back, it's almost humorous to see the points where faith and morale were low. Plan B's and C's were starting to pop up. Contingencies for the "just in case" times where we thought God might not come through. And looking back, His timing was perfect, as it always has been, and as we believe it to always be.

We were able to visit Indian Springs Baptist Church, and Christi and I began to understand exactly what it means for something to be "too good to be true." From the beginning of the visit, when we realized that we loved the people we'd be working with, to the end, when we had no conceivable reason not to accept the offer, our hearts were filled with the assurance that God, all of Him, is perfect. Timing, provision, and love. All perfect.

And if that weren't all, there were numerous other options, which I had already dubbed, "our main options." All of which had many flaws and drawbacks.

God has shown Himself Faithful and True, as He always has. Funny how doubt can creep in so smoothly.

So we're moving to Arkansas in less than a month. Updates will come as they happen, and our hearts are with you all.

My season ends at Genoa...

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”
All At Once
The Fray

If you’re reading this, it means you’ve been close to Christi or myself on some level in my past. I’ve come to a fork in the road, and the sign pointing to Genoa is not the road God is pointing toward.

God has been orchestrating this for a short while now, and we have felt the calling elsewhere. God’s plan is always better, but no doubt, sometimes it comes with pain: especially, the pain of leaving friends behind.

This weekend, the weekend of April 20-22, 2007, has been one of the hardest few days of my life. I’m reminded of the feeling welling up in me months prior to the date of Christi’s and my engagement, and how every time I thought about it, the feeling of butterflies would come over me. This is what it feels like; except, this time, it’s bittersweet.

The lyric mentioned above rang true the very first time I heard it. The song was playing as background music, but my attention was focused as I heard that line.

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”

I think the song is in the context of a relationship. In this case, it’s a bit different, but much the same. Christi and I know with full assurance that God has been moving in our hearts the past few months, and we’re thankful for His direction and guidance. However, the melancholy feeling that comes over me when I think of leaving my friends behind is almost too much to bear. (I’m thankful that God is carrying me through).

I want to make it known that I am not bailing, nor am I fed up, or bored with the students of Genoa. I have more love for them every day that I live. I can’t explain in words, how much it hurts to leave, but please know that it is due to a moving of God. I promised the students at Genoa one Sunday morning that if I didn’t feel that God was behind my being at Genoa, then I’d step down. That day has come.

To all who read this, I hope this serves as a reminder that we crave your prayers. Christi and I began our relationship around Christ. It has been our mission to continue on with Christ as the center of our ministry. We don’t know what’s next, but we know that God is in the middle of our decision. For this, we need your prayer.

We are leaving, but this isn’t goodbye. The relationships we’ve made are matchless, to say the least, and we will always love to hear from you.

Most of all, we want to see the students of Genoa grow up to be the leaders of tomorrow. The fact that Christi and I are not around does not change the fact that God is going to do amazing things through those we’ve been with for the last 2 years. Continue in the faith. Grow. Learn. Love. Enjoy the life God has given you to the full!

We will pray for you. We miss you. We love you. May God do great things through you!

2 Samuel

The horrors of the world sometimes overpower our view of God's providence.

When life gets hard, and answers aren't reachable, or even in plain view, we begin to panic frantically, as if the One who watches us is sleeping. "He doesn't slumber, nor does He sleep (Psalm 121).

In the context of David's era, times were crazy. Like a mob flick, in which the characters stab each other in the back (sometimes literally), all of David's contemporaries were competing for honor, revenge, or blatant personal gain. We learn to love David as we walk through the book of 1 Samuel. His love, his patience, loyalty, and most of all, faith in God is inspiring. Continuing on in 2 Samuel, we see his story play out.

Having been in dire circumstances, running from Saul, and becoming friends with Saul's son, Jonathon, the table turns. Saul and his sons have died in battle. The one who killed Saul (upon Saul's own request) brought news to David, as if if were good news.

The power struggle begins.

David is made king over Judah, and Ish-bosheth, son of Saul is made king over Israel. However, his formal kingship stopped at the loyalty of the people towards David. A civil war breaks out. Abner, Saul's army commander, brings his best men, as David does the same. Without going into detail, many fall on both sides, though Abner lost a significant amount more than David.

The feud ensues.

Many are murdered in the interplay that follows. David, mourning the loss of many, follows God through the storm. What happens next is worth waiting for.

Upon being made king (after those in such a place had died), David calls upon God for every need. Then, in 2 Samuel, there is one, striking sentence that frames David's life.

"Go, do all that is in your mind [David], for the LORD is with you." 2 Samuel 7:3.

His friend, Nathan, a prophet reminded David that he could do most anything, because his heart was aligned with God. God promises that if our hearts are aligned with His, that we could ask for anything, because it would be on His heart, too.

May you be used by God in such a way as David. But may you desire God as David did.

1 Samuel

I'm studying in 1 Samuel right now. I've been especially changed in learning about Israel's demand for a king. It's been talked about many many times...God wants to be our King, but sometimes we want to make something else our king. But when you read the first 10 chapters of 1 Samuel, you start to notice that they demanded a new King...to, and in front of God. It breaks my heart to think that a group of people would break the heart of God in such a way that they would look at their Creator and demand a different calling. It's almost as if a wife looked at her husband and demanded a different man; a different leader, lover, and friend. Not only that, though, but that she would interview different men in her home, while her husband sat by, watching her wife fall in love with another man.
In this, love is defined. Love is hard to be found in such a true form, but it rests in God. Peter talks about keeping fervent in your love (1 Peter 4). Paul talks in Philippians about the sacrifice that Christ made, not even trying to be God, but the perfect sacrifice for humanity.
I will follow this God. I will follow the One who loves me more than I can comprehend (pardon the cliche - it's the truth down to the core).

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13

1st Blog

This is really just a lame test blog to see how all this is going to turn out, because I'm late on the blog game. But better late than never. WOO HOO! Yay for blogging!